What Triggers Do to Deepen Our Relationships

Do you get triggered? Does it affect your relationship? Triggers are something that causes us to have a strong and sometimes overactive feeling in response to what someone says. Our system goes on alert. This might be due to a previous trauma that we aren’t aware of. We often do not feel safe at the moment.

We act in different ways to the stimuli. Some of us full-on rage and others angrily respond and want to argue. Some feel they need to retract or fawn. Social media is good for causing triggers.

In relationships, this can be an issue. Especially if we have had a past relationship that was toxic and wounding. Our current partner does or says something that makes us feel taken back, and reactive. We sometimes feel the need to fight, flee, or sulk.

What do you do with this? 

Triggers are something we can use to further our relationship. If we learn specific tools to help us notice when we are triggered and then look at it. Use curiosity to get to the root of the trigger.

When practiced, we notice it more often and even prior to our fight or flee response. However, whether we find it prior to or after the fact, we can use it to grow as a couple. It doesn’t have to be something that tears our relationship down. It can deepen our intimacy. We get to discover something about ourselves and our partners. It’s amazing!

In my ebook, The Awakening, you will find more information on how to use curiosity to defuse triggers and grow from them. I’ve included my Pause Your Way to a Powerful Relationship worksheet to get you started.

For more information on Conscious Relationships, get my ebook The Awakening for $4.90. Learn how to use triggers to deepen your relationship.

Photo by Kenny Eliason