The holidays are over; you met your love during the season right before the holidays and it’s been a whirlwind of romance until now. The holidays are over and things are settling down. This is the time to evaluate your choice of partners.
Perhaps you are having doubts, or your partner is pulling away. It’s the next stage in a relationship, so naturally, you ask yourself questions.
It’s just that Valentine’s Day is around the corner. You might be excited about it, but he starts to pull away a bit. Maybe he is less enthusiastic about the relationship. Or maybe she is all excited about the impending holiday and you aren’t sure you want to spend the money. Maybe you aren’t sure of the word “Love” yet. Maybe you aren’t feeling it for her like you were a month ago.
Either way, it’s a time of resolution and reflection. All the hype has you nervous about the impending day when you will celebrate or not. No one tells us it is a huge time for breakups.
Red Tuesday is the Tuesday before Valentine’s day reported to be the biggest day for breakups. The week of Valentine’s Day is the week when the bomb is dropped on many when they find out their partner isn’t as pleased as they are. When they end up in tears for the Valentine’s Holiday.
Often, they don’t understand why the person didn’t break up sooner. Why wait until the last minute?
I’ve actually had this happen. He told me about my Valentine’s present and then 3 days later broke up. His ex started working her way in and they talked and she brought up all the wonderful times they had together and it pulled on his heart string. So, at the last minute, he breaks it off with me. I was taken aback by the reason for the breakup.
I would have liked to hear a more logical reason or some kind of incompatibility of some sort, but instead, I heard how his ex make him cry about all the past moments they shared that were happy and it brought back memories he had forgotten.
People break up for many reasons. My heart wasn’t broken as we were still young in the relationship’s development and I was very clear at that moment listening to him explain that I wouldn’t have a long-term relationship with a man that is that easily swayed. He didn’t end up staying with her long after that. I suspected it.
It was a gift that I wasted no more time with him. Yes, it was unsettling as I called the person I had purchased the Valentine’s Day gift from and explained to him and asked for a refund.
The point is, this time of year is a very vulnerable time for couples.
Thoughts of the future enter our minds as we get settled in after the whirlwind of the holidays and we start to get serious about where the relationship is heading and if we truly want it.
Yes, it’s sad that they don’t think about it prior to the week of Valentine’s Day and need that deadline to make the choice. Some are actually putting it off and then have to do it before the impending day.
My advice is if you are doubting the relationship, do it sooner than later. Consider the person’s feelings first. You will feel better about yourself if you do it with integrity.
Let the person know you are having doubts about the relationship and have an honest talk about your concerns. Unless it is about something they can’t change, then I suggest you don’t mention it.
If you are excited about Valentine’s Day and you realize they are becoming distant, then step back and really give yourself some time to hang on to yourself. Give yourself TLC and think about the relationship yourself. You can ask about the distance as long as you don’t expect them to be totally honest with you.
Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone that isn’t sharing the concerns they have and being upfront with you.
Be prepared, just in case the breakup happens. I’m not suggesting you dive into negativity, but have talks with yourself and support yourself. If it happens, you will be ok, you will overcome it, and you will move on and learn from it.
If it does happen, do something fantastic for yourself. Do a Spa day or a hobby. Yes, guys do Spa days too.
Relationships have stages and it’s unfortunate that holidays, special occasions, and anniversaries bring up decisions and often are the catalyst of breakups.
While everyone is caught up in the celebration of Valentine’s Day, remember it is just a day and it only has the meaning you put on it. Sometimes it’s fantastic and other times it’s not so great.
Love yourself along the journey and celebrate you!
If Valentine’s Day has you down and you want support, contact me for a Free Get to Know Me Session!
Photo by Mockaroon