Hi, I´m Lisa Hawkins!

My journey began way before any romantic relationships developed. As a child, conditioned through society and my family, I believed toxic behaviours were normal. I was determined as I grew older to do things differently. However, despite my eagerness, insecurity and family dynamics led to other issues.

Growing up, I was constantly told to “suck it up” and “forgive and forget”. I learned to not believe my feelings or listen to alarms regarding others’ behaviour. This resulted in the development of unhealthy boundaries, which greatly affected my relationships throughout my life. Because I didn’t have a meter to gauge when I should walk away from a never-ending cycle of “forgive and forget”. I didn’t understand that love doesn’t mean staying and it doesn’t mean tolerating.

My marriage didn’t work out like a Harlequin Romance. My husband brutally beat me up, and I felt continually used, abused, and discarded. I was a shell of a person. I hit rock bottom.

I am a fighter, so I kept getting back up and trying. I was determined to have a good, healthy relationship, but despite my efforts, I made little progress. I still attracted toxic people. Not just men – but especially men.

Heartbroken! I was determined to understand my relationships. I’ve worked hard over the last 30 years to understand why I was attracted to the same type of relationships, what shifts I needed to make to break the pattern and how I could heal my trauma. Eventually, I saw there was a world outside of my inherited fate. Healthy people did exist, and it was possible for me to have a healthy relationship. But first, I knew I had to be willing to make a lifelong commitment to this self-reflective journey.