When you are going through the grieving process, you start to miss them like crazy. You start to feel a very strong urge to contact them or see them.
What do you do?
I recently saw a man post that he knows that it was toxic, but the sadness is really getting to him, and he misses her so much. It’s driving him crazy.
Do you contact them?
Somewhere inside, you know that if you do, it will start the cycle all over again.
But the strong pull is almost too much to bear.
You think you’ll just text this once to take some of the pain away and a sliver of hope that they have realized you are a great catch and want you back as a changed person.
You’re waiting on a chance to have it work out the way you know it could. If only……….. and then maybe you put some buts……. and before you know it, you’ve talked yourself into compromising your desire for a healthy relationship.
Sometimes people will take all the responsibility for “making it work” and decide to once again make a go of it. Just try harder.
But wait! What happened to you want more out of a relationship?
Some part of us has once again avoided the pain of facing reality and going through the grief of letting go.
Often we don’t have a clue what just happened. It just happened. Now we feel better and we don’t question why we are getting back involved with this person.
Sometimes we even say to ourselves, “I must be crazy”.
Since we’re not feeling the deep agonizing pain, we just go with it.
Then……… it happens again!
This can be effective if we want to wear ourselves out and finally give up for good. Look what we’ve done to ourselves in the process.
- The lost time
- The lack of trust we have now
- The weariness of relationships
When it isn’t relationships, that is the issue. It’s our inability to pull ourselves away and go through the pain to move on.
So, what do you do?
- You can watch a sad movie and have a good cry.
- You can do a hobby
- Start having coffee with people and get to know them
- You can do self-care. Have a massage or spa treatment
- Go do something adventurous!
- Journal, self-reflect, and remind yourself that you left for certain reasons, and they are valid.
Tell yourself that when you were clear you made a choice and that choice is to not be with this person. Remind yourself of the hard times, and the painful times, and resolve to go through the withdrawals and grieve.
Love yourself enough to take care of your broken heart and not put yourself back into something toxic in order to get temporary relief.
- It takes courage.
- It takes commitment.
- It takes self-respect.
If this is you and you need support around ways to get past missing them like crazy, let’s chat. Get to Know Me Session!
Photo by Jackson Simmer