We all know about Red Flags in dating and relationships. We usually only focus on the Red Flags when they show up. At least when we can actually notice them as Red Flags. Often, we miss them until they are screaming at us.
Green Flags are seen as the go-light early in dating. Actually, it takes a while for the true Green Flags to show up. Most everyone is on their best behavior during the first few months, so what seems like Green Flags might actually be Red Flags. We invest in this relationship based on false information.
When someone has a vested interest in “getting you” of course their behavior will be dictated by that need to have their desires met. It’s usually when that agenda is gone and they feel they have you that the true Green Flags show up.
Ask yourself these questions:
* Do they continue on with prioritizing you?
* Do they still treat you just as well?
* Do they still listen to you and have an interest in your life?
* Do they still call you and text you as often or more?
* Is the relationship building?
* Is trust building?
* How is discord handled?
* How do you feel when you aren’t around them?
It’s easy to fake Green Flags in the beginning when things are new and exciting. After a while that gets tiring.
I know, I know you want to know soon so you don’t get emotionally invested and get hurt.
The more you notice Red Flags the more you’ll get accustomed to catching them sooner. The best way to protect your heart from getting involved with yet another unhealthy relationship is to wait to go all in until you’ve had enough time to discern.
When you aren’t around them, notice if you feel anxious, worried, untrusting, or settled, secure and calm. Our nervous system often can give us signals that our brain hasn’t tuned into yet.
There is no foolproof system. Even our nervous system might be giving us incorrect signals if we are used to toxic relationships. We have to really be proactive and committed enough to investigate it and take a chance.
Once you get in the habit of staying true to yourself, watching for signs, being proactive to ask the right questions, and being open to hearing the truth, you can vet a potential partner much quicker.
The best way to keep yourself from major heartbreak is to love yourself enough to be ok with walking away at any time and take care of yourself. Noticing the green flags, in the beginning, is just the honeymoon stage, and not falling for it too soon, is the next best way to prevent heartbreak. Just notice! It’s all great information!
If you have struggled with noticing Green flags and Red flags and want to learn more, contact me for a Get to Know Me Session. Book now!
Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing