Ballroom dancing changed my view on relationships. I love to dance. Always have. I never thought that ballroom dancing was my thing. Until it just happened upon me. I was such a free-style dancer. Doing my own moves and feeling the music and responding.
As I began to dance in groups, I started to feel that partner dancing might be fun. Up till then I’d only danced the Waltz and line dancing – I was a free spirit.
Once I was thrown into it, I noticed it just happened. I didn’t even really have to know the steps and I allowed myself to be led. It was a challenge for a bit. After all independent women tend to want to lead.
The more I softened up to be led the more fun I had. I just flowed and enjoyed the freedom I had in couples dancing. It worked.
In life, many of us tend to want to be in control. In relationships, there is usually that tiny bit of control we’d like to maintain. When I learned to ballroom dance, it really opened me up to do it differently. Being led was nice and fun. In ballroom dancing, it isn’t always about following – there are signals that the follower can give the leader to let the leader know where they’d like to go. It’s never a “control” type of thing. It’s learning to be in sync.
Like everything else in life, I looked into how that applies to relationships.
In relationships, each partner plays a part.
Sometimes one leads and the other follows. Sometimes that is switched. Other times it can be mutually guiding each other in a project.
In dancing, one leads at a time. If both lead it is like slam dancing, if both follow, nothing happens. You can’t really stand there and debate it. You develop a flow by learning each other’s moves, and signals and as you become better, it’s like this amazing dance that is easy and free.
I was speaking to another enthusiast of ballroom dancing, who actually competed. He said it changed his marriage. We spoke about how it takes time and patience as each partner gets the steps and you practice until you can read each other well enough to where it becomes the dance. A joyful dance. A sexy and passionate flow.
It takes practice and lots of toe stepping
So much like relationships. You have to put the work into learning each other, getting familiar with the signals, and having patience as each partner has a learning curve. Toes will be stepped on.
Eventually, you get to the point where the relationship is much easier. Like ballroom dancing, it takes time and patience.
Having a conscious relationship isn’t about easy
Having a conscious relationship doesn’t mean easy sailing it means that the couple puts in the time and effort to learn their own dance, their own rhythm until it becomes flowing. You learn tools and as you practice them, conflict seems like a non-issue. You move through them much easier and you accept that there are times when your toes will get stepped on. You move on past it much easier.
If you find this interesting and would like to investigate it more, contact me for a Free Get to Know Me Session. Let’s chat.