We are in the twenty-first century and eons old conditioning is still being used as weapons against women. It breaks my heart. This is the unseen and unsaid stigma that women have to fight against constantly. The clock!
The “I’m past the time at which I can find a life partner because of the fact that I couldn’t do it in enough time. Now I’m used merchandise and my value has dropped,” mentality. However, men can always attract younger women.
Even if men do not say it, it floats around some men and it is felt by women. Recently I heard a story from a woman that her man said her value had dropped, he was leaving her. She has been with a few men since her divorce and she is now 40. He went on to list all the things that made her not good enough for him any longer.
This is just reinforced when you see stories of Brad Pitt marrying a 29 yr old and he is 60 this year. His best buddy, actor George Clooney, according to social media posts, is giving him advice about having a much younger wife.
This is a common theme. Even when people say age is just a number, you rarely find it actually goes both ways. Still, to this day, it’s more acceptable for a man to have a wife of 30 yrs younger than the opposite.
This woman is taking her life back after this terrible toxic man and removing all stops to overcome this stigma. Women support her. That doesn’t mean that the man will change this archaic idea. It means women are waking up and not tolerating it.
Age may not matter to some, and to others, with time, it ends up being the reason for the break-up. When aging starts and the gap is much bigger socially, sexually, and lifestyle-wise. It makes a difference.
I’ve spoken to women who had a 20 yr gap and her partner was aging. They were not happy. They were suffering. It’s not what they had considered when marrying an older man. Often, like many men, they didn’t think about the future, they just went with it.
I’m reminded of a scene from Luther on Netflix where the man left his wife for a much younger woman because she was exciting and youthful. The younger woman had a normal sex drive for her age and he was much older. The newness had worn off, and it exhausted him trying to keep up with her. He called on Luther to satisfy his young lover and said all he wanted to do was go back to his wife and snuggle.
Using a woman’s age as a weapon of her worth is cruel. This woman was just hitting her prime. Women’s sex drive goes up in their 40’s. This man had taken the road of centuries of abusive weapons used on women to keep her from realizing her greatness.
It often works! This is why it is still being used by men. It still works. If women had a shield that protects them from these horrid stories of unworthiness, dispensability, and used merchandise, then men couldn’t get by with this toxic behavior, then it would fade. As long as women feel it and fear it, get hurt by it, and subconsciously believe it, it will continue.
This paradigm of women being useful when they are young and when they age, they are not worthy of love or partnership, has gone on long enough. Though I don’t see it disappearing in the near future, I see women who are taking their power back, standing strong in their value, and kicking ass in life, even when men think they have no more value.
Realize this one important factor. If this has happened to you, the man has major issues that you’d be better off avoiding. Men that have to either overtly or covertly imply that you have fewer rights to love and sex is covering up their own issues, and it has nothing to do with you. They are needing to feel some kind of twisted ego boost to make themselves feel better about themselves at your expense.
Sound harsh? Maybe, or maybe it is the truth! It’s time to stop using these weapons against women. It’s time women dodged the bullets and love themselves.
Photo by Shifaaz shamoon