It’s Hell waiting on follow-through. I know this specific kind of Hell. You wait and wait until you feel like you are going crazy. To him, it’s not been that long, to you, you know how long it’s been months or even a year, and still no action.
They downplay it and make it sound like you are the one with the problem. You hear “I said I’ll do it, I’ll get to it”. That time doesn’t come.
They can’t see and often don’t want to see how long they put you off. They don’t see its importance in the relationship. They just feel it is something they can do when they feel like it and often never get around to it. It’s because he doesn’t value himself and how he shows up in the world.
Chances are he values others’ opinions and is busy showing up for them. That hurts worse!
Why is this?
It’s that you are kind, patient, and understanding and don’t want to lose them and they know it. You accept them and love them for who they are and they take it for granted.
You feel disregarded and unloved!
- They do not notice it hurts you!
- They do not notice it’s important to follow through.
- They do not value your happiness.
What do you do?
- You keep up the smiles and the love going towards them.
- You hope they will eventually notice and follow through.
- You talk yourself out of wanting or needing this thing.
- You shove it aside because no one is perfect.
You know what you are doing? You are devaluing yourself!
It’s double Hell!
You are doing the thing he is doing to you! See that?
The solution is not to stop wanting it. It’s to stop wanting something from someone who isn’t invested in your happiness. Invest in your own happiness. Stop waiting! Work on getting it somewhere else, from someone else.
Stop stifling your needs and desires to keep a man who doesn’t listen to you, who doesn’t care about his integrity, and who isn’t paying attention to the relationship.
If he really cares, he’ll notice that you are seeking this need to be met in other ways. He will either notice and step up or not care. This is great information! Notice it!!
If you continually have to get your requests met by yourself or with someone else. I’m not talking about cheating. You’ll see that this is his pattern and it isn’t likely to change.
The biggest issue here is do not devalue yourself! You deserve someone that values your needs and desires. They might not always be able to provide them but they can be honest when they can’t. You deserve to value yourself enough to not keep acting like something is ok when you are not ok.
Learn how to communicate with your man in a way he might listen better and if that doesn’t work, understand that is your best effort. You might have to make a tough decision. Make it a conscious decision to move on or stay and accept it fully. You deserve a healthy relationship!
If communicating more directly and consciously is something you wish to explore, contact me for a Intro into Awakening Session.