Guys, you hate it when a woman tries to change you. You don’t want to have to change, you think she should just accept you as you are. Ok here is a scenario.
She has worked hard on herself to get to a point where she can have a healthy relationship, get rid of her old baggage and attract a good man, a great man.
You show up, you do what all men do, you fluff and strut and do all these wonderful things to show her what kind of man you are.
After about 3-6 mos. you start to show sides of yourself she hasn’t seen.
She shares with you what doesn’t work for her. You say ” I’ll work on it’. She takes your word. ( notice she never asked you to change).
What happens next. You do not work on it, and you continue on as if everything is ok, because right now, it is. You work on it when you feel like it, take your time, as if you have all the time in the world to work on this.
Well because she loves you. Do you see where I’m going with this?
She has done her work, you are reaping the benefits of it, enjoy the relationship because she respects you and has a clean slate.
Here is the problem you didn’t do your work. You just kept believing the right woman would just accept you as you are.
There is a catch here. Accepting you and your imperfections not accepting unhealthy patterns, baggage you bring into the relationship. Now the fact that she can’t trust your word because you gave it to her, you would work on it and you are not.
You are disrespecting her time on this earth, her path by thinking you can just do it on your own time, when you feel like it or not. She is trying to decide if you are long term material.
It isn’t a cherishing thing to just whittle away at her time, her love and her energy, by thinking you will get around to it.
She has two choices stay and hoping you’ll do your work like you said you would, or leave. (staying and waiting might feel to you as if she is trying to change you, she isn’t). Guys, you hate it when a woman tries to change you.
Staying and waiting on someone to change is unhealthy and most likely not honoring her own care and love for herself, and most likely he won’t do it anytime soon, because in his mind ( your mind) things are good as they are, to you ( to him).
A man that does this is being selfish and self-serving, he is taking her love and life for granted. He ( you) is showing her that the relationship and her love is not that important to him.
I tell women, don’t wait for him to decide to work on himself. Cut the cord. If he was really serious about what he said to you and a man of his word, he wouldn’t just ” expect” that you will wait on him to work through his baggage, the baggage she already worked on.
So, if you have a ” good woman” a ” great woman” she treats you very well and is respectful and loving, you’ll lose her if you play this game of I’ll do my inner work and then you just drag it out, or not work on it.
That men, is a slap in the face to a healthy, evolved, respectful, loving woman, a good woman. – Lisa Hawkins